Develop emotional intelligence
How do children develop social and emotional intelligence skills? The answer is simple: practice, practice and practice again. Parents should explain certain situations to their children over and over again and set a good example. And it may seem endless. However, there are ways to quickly develop emotional intelligence in children, using the daily difficulties that arise in every family. The next time there is a problem in the relationship between your children, consider what lesson you can learn from it.
1. Talk about feelings
When parents talk to children every day about each other’s feelings and needs, children become more sensitive and open, more likely to understand each other’s point of view. This pattern is also true in the case of young children: when the mother tells the child about the likely feelings of other children, he develops empathy and feels less jealousy.
2. Ask questions about feelings, needs, and choices
“How are you feeling?»;
“What do you want?»;
“What did you do?»;
“What did it lead to?»;
“Did you get what you wanted?»;
“Did your brother get what he wanted?»;
“How do you think he felt?»;
“Do you think we should do the same or different next time?»;
“What can I do next?»;
“What can it lead to?»
Listen to the answer of the child, nod and repeat after him to show that you have understood it correctly. Stay friendly and open-minded. Use a sense of humor. If the child says, “next time I hit him,” ask him, ” What can happen after that?”no.” Try not to go into moralizing and not to condemn the child. In the process of reflection of their own feelings, children develop honesty and correctness of judgments. Often, good judgment develops from bad experience.
3. Explain and show an example
When children fight to get a toy or any other thing, tell one of them: “Sasha, tell Katya:” When you finish playing with this toy, give it to me, please.” After that, turn to another child: “Katya, tell Sasha:” Yes, of course.” You may be surprised to see that children will repeat your phrases word for word. Your tips will help children to solve problems.
4. Look for solutions in which everyone will win
Every family has daily opportunities to find out the difference in needs and find a solution that will satisfy everyone. For example, you can start with this phrase: “You want to go to the amusement Park, and your brother wants to play in the yard. What can we do to make everyone happy?”no.”
5. Show an example of ” I-messages»
This means that you need to talk about your feelings instead of judging someone. For example, when you see your daughter yelling at her brother, ” you’re a fool!”, teach him to say instead, “I don’t like it when you call me offensive words.”
“I-messages” are about describing what you feel, what you need, and how you see the situation. You can ask your child to do what you want to correct the situation. Ask him in a friendly but clear way: “I feel anxious because I want to come to visit on time, and you don’t want to get dressed. Please put your shoes on quickly.”
6. Set an example of social behavior
The way parents treat each other becomes an example for children. Use this for the good of your family: set an example of the behavior you want to see in your children. For example, you might say to your spouse, ” there’s only one banana Left, let’s split it.” Show an example of how to properly set the limits, for example: “Sorry, I took the laptop. As soon as I’m done working, you can take it.” Say it with a smile and hug your spouse.