Relationship between parents and children
Traditions and rules in different families differ from each other. For example, the connection between you and your children can be very different from the one you see in the family of your friends. This means that there are different types of relationships between parents and children.
Children feel safe with their parents and are confident that they will be taken care of. Safe relationships are formed when parents constantly respond to the needs of their children.
Children who have this relationship with their parents are more likely to grow up independent and confident. They interact well with others and are able to regulate their emotions.
Children feel insecure because their parents do not respond to their needs. They have to be independent and take care of themselves.
Avoiding relationships lead to problems of development and adaptation in the child. He may exhibit bad behavior: biting, pushing, fighting, etc.
Children who have an avoidant relationship with their parents often have poorly developed social skills (this can manifest itself, for example, in aggression or isolation). They are prone to disobedience and impulsive behavior.
However, this does not mean that such children are doomed to failure in life. As the child grows and develops, it can change.
The ambivalent relationship
Parents sometimes meet the needs of the child, and sometimes-no. Parents ‘ reactions are inconsistent. For example, they may not immediately respond to a baby crying because they are busy with work. But after a while they can give the child what he needs. Such children are prone to excessive emotionality and affection.
Parents ignore the needs of their children, and children, in turn, learn not to form expectations from parents. In such cases, there is a possibility that one or both parents suffer from mental disorders.
Such children engage in meaningless activities and behave strangely. Some of them speak so quickly that they can be difficult to understand.
When it comes to raising children, there are no recipes that will suit everyone without exception. However, there are a number of positive parenting principles that parents should adhere to:
1. Set educational goals. Whether you want to raise your child healthy and disciplined or want to establish a good relationship with him – define your goals and think about what you need to do to achieve them.
2. Bring love and warmth to your relationship with your child. Consider each interaction with the child as an opportunity to establish emotional contact with him. Be attentive and sensitive to the child, encourage interaction with him. Set rules, boundaries, and consequences for your child’s violation. Make sure your child understands the rules.
3. Basic rules are mandatory. The basic rules should explain to children how to behave and how not to behave. But don’t make too many rules. No matter what rules you set in the family, implement them gradually to form the personality of your child and contribute to its development.
4. Acknowledge your child’s feelings and empathize with them. And when the child is happy, and when he is experiencing difficulties, recognize his feelings and let him know that he can rely on you if he has any problems.
5. During conflicts, use the problem-solving method. When a child has a problem, do not rush to punish him, and try to find a solution together. Punishments demoralize the child, and he loses confidence in you. But when you seek a solution with your child, he learns from you.