13 tips to better understand the psychology of children
Sigmund Freud argued that children are initially driven by instincts and selfish motives. Gradually, they adapt to the conditions of the world around them, assimilating the values and rules of their parents. Parents play an important role in the development of self-awareness of the child.
One of the most important tasks that parents face is to understand the psychology of their child. Of course, you don’t have to get a psychological education to do that. However, you should know some simple things about a child: what they like and what they don’t like; what makes them cry and what makes them laugh; what motivates them and what makes them suffer.
Consider a few tips that will help you understand how a child sees the world.
What is child psychology?
Child psychology is one of the most popular branches of developmental psychology. It is devoted to the study of mental processes that occur with a child from birth to adolescence. Special attention in child psychology is paid to the changes that occur with the child’s psyche from infancy.
Also, child psychology studies the development of motor, cognitive, language skills, emotional, social spheres, etc.
Why is it important to understand child psychology?
Each parent interprets their child’s abilities and skills (or lack thereof) in their own way. If you don’t understand your child, you may misjudge him. In most cases, this does not bring any harm to the child, but sometimes the consequences can be serious. Parents play a key role in a child’s development. And if you do not know enough about how his psyche works, you can make mistakes in his education.
Scientists have proved that the development of children depends on the time that parents invest in it. Therefore, it is important not only to spend time with the child, but also to gain new knowledge in the field of child development. This will be a significant contribution to the emotional and intellectual development of the child.
How to better understand child psychology
The famous psychologist Jean piaget States :” as far as morality or intelligence is concerned, a child is not born good or bad. He is the master of his own destiny.”
Raising children is about more than just making them comfortable. Raising a child means giving him emotions and ensuring his safety. Consider a few top tips on how to better understand your child’s psychology.
1. The main secret is observation
One of the easiest and at the same time effective ways to study the psychology of the child – observation. Take an interest in what your children do and say.
Observe the child’s behavior and emotions as he eats, sleeps, plays, etc.
Keep in mind that your child is unique and has its own personality traits even in childhood. Therefore, you should not compare your child with other children, because it causes him stress and even makes him feel inferior.
To understand the psychology of the child, ask yourself a few questions:
What does a child like to do the most?
How does he react when he has to do something he doesn’t like (like eating vegetables, getting up early, or doing chores)?
How sociable is he? Is he ready to share something with other children or try something new?
How long does it take him to adjust to his new surroundings? Does he adapt easily to change?
When answering these questions, do not evaluate your child. Just watch.
2. Spend quality time with your child
Today, parents are literally torn between home and work, calling it multitasking. In this case, the education of the child is among many other things.
If you also do not have enough time to raise a child, it’s time to change something. If you want to understand your child, first of all you have to give him time.
The time you spend with your child at Breakfast and dinner is not enough. Take the time to talk to your child and play with him.
Talking to your child allows you to know what is going on in his life at school and at home, what music and movies he likes, what he likes and what he does not.
Quality time doesn’t necessarily mean talking or doing things together. Sometimes you can just sit with the child and be silent. Just watch the child – and you will begin to understand the peculiarities of his personality.
3. Children need your full attention
When you are going to spend time with your child, do not plan any other things for this time. Your child deserves your full attention. If you’re talking to your child while you’re cooking, driving, or doing something else, you’re probably missing the most important thing he’s telling you.
Plan the time you will devote only to your child. When you are not distracted by any extraneous Affairs, the child feels safe and ready to open up to you even more.
4. Pay attention to the environment of the child
Studies have shown that a child’s behavior is largely determined by the environment in which he is brought up. Therefore, parents should pay attention to who the child communicates with.
Studies have also shown that a child’s environment affects the development of his brain. This, in turn, affects the development of language and cognitive skills. At the same time, the home environment is especially important.
The behavior of a child depends largely on what kind of people around him and how he interacts with them. Pay attention to the environment that surrounds the child at home and at school. For example, if the child is aggressive or has problems with socialization, think about who or what influenced it.
5. Understand how a child’s brain functions
Parents may know their child’s physiology well, but they don’t know how his brain works. The child’s brain develops with the experience it acquires. Accordingly, he learns to react in a certain way in different situations.
Understanding how a child’s brain functions can help you learn a lot about a child’s behavior, how they make decisions, and their social, logical, and cognitive abilities.
Negative experiences can lead to negative emotional reactions in the child. It can be bad for his development.
Understanding how a child’s brain works will help you turn negative experiences into new opportunities for development.
The renowned American psychologist Daniel Siegel, author of the book “Growing brain” States: “by Understanding the functions of the brain, parents can help their children create a solid Foundation for a healthy social life and emotional well-being, teach them to easily cope with difficult situations.”
6. Let your child tell stories
Talking to a child is important, but it is equally important to listen to him when he speaks. Initiate a conversation, and then listen to what the child is trying to tell you. Sometimes it is difficult for children to Express their thoughts, so pay attention not only to their words, but also to nonverbal signals:
tone of voice: the ways in which a child highlights a word or phrase;
expressions that show how the child feels at the moment. When he talks about something, try to understand what emotions he feels at the same time: whether he likes what he talks about, whether he is afraid or experiencing stress;
body language: follow eye contact, the child’s posture, the position of his hands;
You should not only listen to the child, but also let him know that you hear him and take his words seriously. Answer the child so that he understands that you hear him. If you don’t understand something, ask questions. But don’t talk too much and don’t ask too many questions, because it can overwork the child and silence him.
7. Children Express their emotions in different ways
There are different ways in which children Express their thoughts and emotions. In addition to talking, they can use various actions for this purpose.
If your child likes to draw, write or play, encourage these activities. Send him to art school – so you will help him to Express himself better. You can offer your child themes for drawings, but you do not need to limit his imagination.
Invite your child to keep a diary in which he will write about their activities and experiences for the day. The more a child writes or draws, the better he manifests himself.
Take the time to analyze the child’s drawings to understand how he sees the world around him. Do not try to analyze every detail-otherwise you risk to draw wrong conclusions about the child or to project your emotions on him.
Let the child explain what he has drawn or written and how he feels about it.
8. Ask the right questions
If you want your child to share his thoughts with you, ask him the right questions. Start the conversation with open-ended questions that motivate your child to share the details.
Instead of asking ,” do you like this song?”, ask: “What do you think about this song?”The answer to the first question may be Yes or no, whereas an open question will allow him to tell more.
Instead of asking who the child was playing with in the yard, ask what games they were playing. Let your child explain the game in detail and do not interrupt him.
Never shy away from the questions a child asks. If you don’t have an answer to a question, come back to it later. If you ignore the child’s questions, thinking them stupid, in the future he probably will not want to ask questions.
9. Learn more about your child’s development
You need to understand what happens to the child at different stages of its development to make sure that this process is normal. Read books and Internet sites devoted to this topic, talk to experts who can tell you about the development of the child’s psyche. When you do not know how the child develops, you may feel that something is wrong with the child. Do not rush to make pessimistic guesses.
10. Watch the other children