The third child in the family: features of character
For months, the gossip columns have been discussing the birth of Prince Louis, the third child of Britain’s Prince William and Kate Middleton. Journalists are trying to guess what character the child will inherit, and how it will affect the fact that he is the third child in the family.
Psychologists have long established that the order of birth of a child strongly affects the formation of children’s emotions, behavior and character traits. Every child is born under certain conditions, and this causes him unique emotional experiences – both positive and negative. This experience forms in the child certain character traits.
The third child appears in the family, when the parents already have a lot of experience in raising children and no longer worry about minor problems. As a result, the third child often grows more calm and cheerful. Even of the two children in the family, the youngest is usually the more smiling and charming, and because of this, he receives more attention.
However, this little angel also faces certain problems. Older children are usually louder and more demanding, and the younger child may find himself in the background in such an environment. The older children are constantly faced with new problems requiring the attention of parents: they first go to school, first to go to the party all night, etc. Often parents take the younger child when the older store in the sports section, music school, etc. So the youngest child gets less individual attention. When the third child arrives, the parents do not have as much free time to read books to him as they did with the older children.
As a result, the younger child often attracts attention and tries to get it in all possible ways. He can constantly joke or show artistry, but sometimes the child chooses to do this in other ways: screaming, bad behavior, etc.
Busy parents usually do not have enough time to teach their youngest child how to tie their shoelaces or dress, and often perform these actions for him. Older children usually know how to do it on their own. The younger child often lacks life skills, so he becomes dependent on others.
Another problem that younger children face is that older children often reject them. Younger children are not taken to play (sometimes simply because the younger one does not understand the rules or lacks the dexterity to play). From this younger children feel deprived and in the future make great efforts to be accepted by others.
Sometimes older brothers and sisters do not accept younger ones out of jealousy. They see how much time parents devote to the younger (even if it happens for objective reasons – when parents feed a small child, change his diapers, etc.). Middle children also resent that until recently they themselves were the youngest in the family and all the attention of parents was paid to them, and now they have lost such a privilege.
Research psychologists show that the smaller the age difference between children, the higher the competition between them.
Consider how this dynamic manifests itself in the Royal family. Prince William and Kate Middleton’s middle daughter, Princess Charlotte, is now three years old. She, like any child of this age, has a lot of need for parental attention. She needs to sit on her mother’s lap and interact with her. Therefore, it is likely that she will feel jealous and anxious about the fact that her mother spends less time with her. This can cause her to have trouble sleeping or provoke bad behavior to get her mom’s attention. This is especially likely in cases where the mother feeds the younger brother and the older daughter sees a special connection between them.
However, there is one caveat: among all the children in the Royal family, Princess Charlotte is the only girl, so in any case, she will receive special attention from parents. In due time, she will spend more time with her mother for women’s activities (they will do manicures together, go to the hairdresser, etc.), and it will bring her special pleasure.
What is the position of the eldest son, Prince George, in the family? Of course, in the Royal family, his position is special, because he is the main contender for the throne. This, ultimately, can lead to the fact that younger children will feel envy. But George will probably also feel some jealousy towards his younger brother. He may be afraid that Louis will be better than him in any occupation (for example, in football or school).
Another problem that a younger child may face is that he has an older brother and sister who can do a lot more than he can. He will still ride a tricycle, and the older children-already on a two-wheeled. The younger child may begin to worry that something is wrong with him, and will grow up with a sense of inadequacy. Probably, in the future, self-determination and attracting attention will be problems for him. It is likely that the younger child will be prone to competition with others or even to rebellion and attempts to assert themselves as a person.
Whether or not the parents belong to the Royal family, there are many ways to help a younger child cope. First of all, you should spend more time with him one – on-one from an early age, play with him, read to him, teach him to perform the necessary actions in everyday life (while making sure that the rest of the family did not rush to do everything for him).
It is also necessary to motivate the child to make independent decisions corresponding to his age (for example, to choose what to wear for a walk), to give the simplest duties around the house (for example, to set the table). Parents should develop the interests of the child-to send him to art school, if he likes to draw, and praise him for his daily achievements.
It is extremely important to explain to the younger child why he cannot do what older children can do. For example, it can be explained as follows: “Your brother and sister also could not ride a two-wheeled bike at your age. When you’re a little older, you can do it too.” These facts are not obvious to a young child, but they calm him down and increase his self-esteem.