Attention deficit disorder kills motivation
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) creates big problems with motivation for teenagers. Psychologists say that attention deficit disorder affects motivation as much as the ability to focus on objects. It is believed that the primary causes of ADHD are biological, so often the child needs medication. However, the experts often overlook the psychological factors.
ADHD can be compared to a large magnifying glass that magnifies the smallest motivational problems of adolescents. The main of such problems is the desire of teenagers for independence. Teenagers want to make their own decisions, but at the same time tend to remain young children, dependent on their parents. When your child argues about when to return home, he tries to assert his independence, and when he does not clean his room or forgets to take textbooks to school, he shows his dependence on you.
But as the ADHD increases the problems of teenagers? Most parents whose children suffer from ADHD do more for their children than parents of their peers. This mindfulness of the child’s life is good at a younger age: it helps him to be organized and concentrated. But, when a child’s school life begins to become more complicated (the material becomes more difficult, and the school subjects-more), he has a period of puberty. Adolescents suffering from ADHD are more likely to refuse parental help than their peers. This is because parental interference poses an even greater threat to his independence.
There’s another problem that’s hurting Teens with ADHD. Unlike girls, boys and boys are forced to prove their manhood to each other. They try to be competent and responsible. Therefore, a boy with ADHD who has learning difficulties may feel that his inattention and disorganization pose a threat to his masculinity. The teenager will try to rationalize his feelings and say that learning is not important. His performance means far less to him than his self-esteem and self-confidence.
If ADHD hurts Teens ‘ motivation, how can it be restored? The key to creating a teenager’s inner motivation is three components: competence, control, and connections. Let us consider the first two components in more detail.
To motivate yourself to do something, a person must feel competent in this matter. He must also feel in control of the process and the result.
Self-motivation is based on a sense of self-reliance, which means choice and the ability to cope with its consequences. Independence is something that teenagers aspire to, although they are not always ready to accept responsibility.
To solve this problem, parents should gradually retreat and less interfere in the Affairs of the child. If you take less responsibility for the child’s life, gradually he will learn to cope with their own Affairs. Remember that this may take some time. But your teenager does not need to achieve everything at once. For example, in order to go to University, he does not have to immediately get the highest scores in school. But the more you allow him to take responsibility, the better his chances of getting in.
Consider a few ways to teach a child to responsibility.
Set rules and boundaries, but don’t control the child. Children need restrictions in and out of school. When you tell him to be home at 11pm, it’s more correct than berating him for coming back at 2am. The same goes for grades at school. Voice your child’s minimum expectations about his grades (no need to demand the highest grades from him). Make sure that your expectations are reasonable, and tell your child how to achieve this result. Check the baby about once every three weeks, but not every night. If the child’s academic performance remains low, he needs additional rules (for example, you can limit his time for computer games, take away his mobile phone for the time when he learns lessons, etc.) as long as he does not improve his academic performance. The idea is to convey to the child the thought: “I think you are not paying enough attention to study, so we should limit your other activities.”
Use of developmental education. This helps to achieve the child’s development goals. Abilities and skills do not develop in one day, it takes time. Developmental parenting is what happens when parents or teachers help a child master skills for which the child already has the ability. Developmental learning is not the same as excessive tutelage. Developmental education is designed to improve the skills of the child, excessive guardianship-to control it. For example, your child may need you to mark scheduled activities on his or her calendar, but then it is his or her responsibility to keep track of those activities.
Don’t do too much for the baby. Make a list of all the things you do for your child during the week. Think about what the child can do on his own and what he can’t do. Remember that there is a difference between “can’t” and ” won’t.” Cross off the list as many things as possible that the child is able to perform himself. Think at the same time, to what consequences it can lead. For example, if he is able to make an appointment with the dentist on his own, but he does not do it, wait a little, do not interfere. If something seems too difficult for your child to do on his own (for example, applying to the University), help him, but give him the opportunity to do some of the work yourself. So you will teach him to take responsibility. Also pay attention to the household duties that the child can perform on their own.
Don’t try to be a superhero. If you save the child from all the problems, it does not give him the opportunity to acquire the skills necessary for self-determination of various issues. Also, the child receives a message that he is incompetent and not able to do without you.
The situations your child finds himself in can be of three kinds: those in which he definitely needs you because the consequences can be too great (for example, health problems or a destructive relationship with a teacher for the child); those with which he can cope with your help (for example, situations in which you remind the child of deadlines for work), as well as those with which he can cope on his own (for example, lessons, household duties, etc.).