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We teach the child to cope with emotions

Young children often don’t know how to deal with feelings of anger, but parents can teach them to relax and let go of their emotions. Of course, adults have more real reasons to feel angry (you have problems at work, you dropped and broke the phone or got into traffic). But put yourself in the child’s shoes: there are also many disappointments in his life. He is upset by other children who do not want to share toys; adults who interfere with his games; older brothers who have more privileges in the family, and many things that the child has not yet mastered. No wonder young children are so prone to emotional breakdowns.

You can not eliminate the causes of such emotional breakdowns, but at the age of 2-3 years should teach the child to control himself. Your task is to help him find ways to Express his emotions and cope with them. When a child becomes hysterical, you may be tempted to call him to order, but this will make him even more angry.
Instead, it is worth showing compassion and suggesting that the child find a better way to Express their emotions.

Children who remain calm in difficult situations are more likely to achieve success in life. According to a study by American psychologists, children who coped better with emotions showed better results in learning and social life. They also proved to be more emotionally resilient in stressful situations.

Of course, some children find it harder to stay calm when they are under pressure than others, but in any case, parents can help them become calmer.

Define feelings

Young children may not realize that they are feeling angry – they are just giving vent to their feelings. You should help your child understand his feelings before he expresses them.

When explaining the nature of feelings to a child, use the analogy of a volcano: lava boils inside a volcano for some time before it breaks out. Tell your child that feeling angry works the same way, but you can learn to prevent an eruption.

First of all, the child must learn to name his emotions. Discuss certain situations with your child, such as: “I think you’re angry with your friend because he teased you, right?”Over time, the child will also learn to use such phrases. As he becomes more aware of his emotions, teach him to recognize the physical manifestations of feelings (“My cheeks are burning”) and the situations that cause these feelings (“I get angry when my older brother does something I’m not allowed to do”). So he will learn to recognize their emotions.


Talk to your child about how difficult it is to think clearly when experiencing negative emotions. Teach your child to pause to calm down, and then look for a solution to the problem.

To calm the child down, you may need to take him to a quiet and peaceful place. In this case, you need to cope with his opposition (for example, say: “Dear, you need to calm down”). If you simply take the child away from a place where there is an emotionally difficult situation, it may not be enough. You will need to offer him some action (for example, listen to music or run around in the yard).

There is another known way to calm down – deep breathing. Explain to your child that feeling angry makes him breathe more often. To calm down, you need to slowly inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. A child can be taught this at an early age, and it will become a habit with him.

Discuss the situation

Once the child has calmed down, he can immediately forget about what was bothering him. But, if he is still angry, ask what he can do differently next time to avoid negative emotions. If the child can not think of anything suitable, offer an option yourself (for example, “If you offer your brother to play football, and he is busy, offer him to play when he finishes his work). Perceiving your ideas, the child will learn to find solutions that suit everyone.

This communication strategy can help you control situations without letting your child experience negative emotions. For example, when a child in a store demands to buy him a toy, you can give him an ultimatum under the guise of a choice: either he stops begging for a toy, or he goes home with his father. In this case, he chooses the option of further development of events.

Use humor

People who can laugh at their problems and at themselves are better at dealing with difficult situations. When a child sees that you are humorous about their problems, he begins to do the same. For example, if you and your child are driving in a car and are caught in a traffic jam, turn your concern into a joke (“I saw flying cars at the dealership last week. It is a pity that I did not buy such a car, now it would be useful to us”). If you see that the child is experiencing stress, try to relieve his condition with a joke (“Are you angry because your little sister dropped your ice cream on the ground? Let’s tell her that ice cream should be eaten, not planted in the ground”).

Create a specific area in the house where you can not shout

It is not necessary to explain that parents who shout at their children, later children also tend to shout at others. You can’t expect a child to learn to control their emotions, if you do not know how to do it.

Even if you have a disagreement with your child, teach him to discuss the situation calmly. Having established such a rule at home, consider a plan to teach this child. For example, first you can use reminders (“Don’t forget the rule – we don’t shout”), then warnings (“If you raise your voice again, we won’t go to the movies on the weekend, as we agreed before”). Be prepared to apply the consequences if the previous methods do not work.

Of course, not only a child can break this rule. If you raise your voice during a conversation, apologize to the child. Tell the child :” I was angry with your behavior, but I should not have gone to cry.” If you feel that you may soon lose your temper, take a break – follow the same rule that you teach your child. Tell him, ” I’m too upset to discuss this right now. I need time to calm down, and then we can talk. So you not only show the need to discuss situations without shouting, but also teach the child to manage anger.

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