Harm of verbal violence to a child
Imagine yourself as a child being threatened or yelled at because of a small mistake. How would you feel in such a situation? Shame? Humiliation? Fear of making another mistake and being punished for it? Would you feel that you were not loved?
Verbal abuse, or simply verbal abuse, is one of the most common forms of child abuse. And parents often ignore this, passing off verbal abuse as “disciplining” or ” strict displays of love.” Consider what will be the consequences of verbal violence in the short and long term.
Short-term effects of verbal child abuse
Although the damage caused by verbal violence is not visible from the outside, it has implications for the psyche. And it can be difficult for children to overcome these consequences. Let’s take a closer look at the short-term effects of verbal violence.
1. Regular or chronic depression
If you shout at a child or abuse him, it can lead to negative consequences:
the child may develop an inferiority complex, he may become closed;
this condition can become chronic if verbal abuse occurs frequently and over a long period of time.
2. Deterioration of physical and mental development
When a child’s self-confidence decreases, his mental and physical performance also deteriorates:
if parents say to the child: “I know that you will win competitions”, he will be automatically sure of himself, irrespective of what will be result of competitions;
conversely, if the parents say, “you have bad stamina,” the child will be nervous because he predicted a bad result. There is a high probability that the child will lose, confirming the predictions of parents.
3. The formation of an inferiority complex
When a child is constantly shouted at, he begins to believe that something is wrong with him:
he develops an inferiority complex, he feels that his peers are superior to him in everything;
when he begins to feel that he does not correspond in something to his peers, that he is worse than them, it forces him to resort to violence himself.
Long-term effects of verbal violence
Children exposed to long-term verbal abuse suffer from chronic physical and mental disorders. Consider the most common of them.
1. Health problem
Depression leads to a so-called “substitution chain” in which the child becomes prone to overeating or, conversely, loses appetite. This affects its growth and development of bones, muscles and vital organs. Thus, over time, the child becomes weaker.
Self-esteem and self-confidence are essential for a successful career and personal life. Low self-esteem and self-doubt can lead to frustration and depression.
3. Feeling of hopelessness
Children who are often verbally abused do not develop a positive Outlook on life. They are not confident, and this may cause them problems in the future.
4. The tendency to dependency
Having life goals often keeps us from using alcohol and drugs. Simply put, a hungry person will look for food, and experiencing depression-substances that are addictive and keep him away from reality.
5. Asocial behavior
Perhaps the worst consequence of verbal abuse is that the children who are subjected to it grow into adults with mental trauma. Research has shown that many offenders were verbally abused as children, and there is a strong link between childhood trauma and criminal tendencies.
Emotional abuse and verbal abuse
Sometimes verbal abuse can also be manifestations of emotional violence. Often emotional abuse manifests itself in the abuse or neglect of a child. Emotional abuse can be experienced by parents or loved ones. Emotional abuse can cause serious damage to a child’s cognitive, emotional, social and psychological development. Sometimes parents are emotionally abusive, even knowing the consequences of their behavior. However, in most cases they do not realize the harm of their actions.Let’s consider some actions of parents-manifestations of emotional violence.
1. Ignoring the child
perhaps you don’t spend enough time with your child, and that makes him feel lonely;
you can be physically close to the child, but do not pay any attention to him. It can make him feel lonely too;
the child may think that you are ignoring him if you avoid eye contact with him during a conversation or do not address him by name.
2. Ignoring the needs of the child
ignoring the needs of the child can manifest itself in simple actions, such as making fun of him in the presence of other people. This may seem like nothing to you, but for the child to have serious long-term consequences;
you can ignore the physical needs of the child, refusing to hug and touch him. In addition, you can ignore his basic needs and desires.
3. Isolation of the child
isolation of the child means that parents regularly forbid him to communicate with friends and peers. This also includes situations where the child is not allowed to communicate with someone from a family member or relative;
the child’s isolation also includes cases in which he is restricted in his freedom of movement as a punishment (for example, he is forbidden to walk in the street or leave his room). Many parents punish children by restricting their movement, but if this happens too often, it becomes emotional abuse.
4. Exploitation of children
parents can be emotionally abusive to a child by manipulating him or her when they encourage him or her to engage in immoral or illegal activities;
in some cases the child may be encouraged to do so by strangers without the knowledge of the parents;
exploitation of the child may include cases of manipulation by the parents, leading to antisocial behavior of the child. Parents can force a child to lie, steal, etc.
5. Verbal abuse and verbal abuse
verbal abuse can also have a strong and lasting impact on the child’s psyche;
verbal violence includes taunts, attempts to shame the child, humiliation, etc. it also includes situations where the child is threatened by someone.
6. Child intimidation
parents or close relatives may intimidate the child into submission. It’s a form of emotional abuse;
parents can bully a child in many ways. This can be an action that puts the child in an uncomfortable or dangerous position. He can take away his favorite toy, forbid contact with a pet or even a brother, until he obeys;
in many cases, the child may experience fear when parents put unrealistic expectations in front of him. Not conforming to them, the child may fear punishment.
Facts about emotional abuse of children
Consider some shocking facts about emotional abuse of children:
nearly 90 % of child deaths are caused by incitement by parents or close relatives;
children who are emotionally abused have a 25 % higher risk of developing physical and mental disorders than their peers;
children suffering from emotional abuse are at risk of early pregnancy, delinquency, drug addiction, etc.
How to prevent emotional abuse
Of course, all parents love their children. However, they may be emotionally abusive towards them out of ignorance. Even perfect parents sometimes yell at their children or ignore them. When such cases occur once, they do not carry serious consequences. But if such cases are regular, they develop into emotional abuse of the child.
Although any family is not immune to emotional abuse, there are some situations that can provoke it. Let us consider them in more detail:
parents experiencing financial problems will find it difficult to provide for the child’s education. In such a family the child may face emotional abuse;
parents in single-parent families may feel too burdened with the care and responsibility of the child. They may say that they are disappointed with the child, thereby insulting him;
if the parents divorce, the child also has a high risk of experiencing emotional abuse. Parents may be too busy with the divorce process and ignore the emotional needs of the child.
Therefore, if you are concerned about the welfare of your child and want him to grow up a good man, try not to resort to verbal abuse in his address. Also teach him to resist insults. Regularly tell your child that you love and appreciate him. Be positive with him, and in case of any disagreements stay on his side.