Emotional stability: ways of development
Adults often experience uncertainty about their future and place in life. This is often due to financial instability, personal problems, or work-related stress. But what happens when adults experience such uncertainty in the presence of their children?
The calmness of the child is very changeable, and it is easy enough to break it. There are several signs that the child is happy and emotionally stable:
the child experiences a sense of satisfaction and self-esteem;
he laughs anyway and smiles for no reason;
he shows by his whole appearance that he is ready to have fun;
he is able to cope with the stress associated with school exams and tests, and confidently passes these tests;
he easily sets goals and looks for ways to achieve them;
he likes to play games and asks your permission to invite friends home;
he easily adapts to changes, shows flexibility in decision-making and respects his parents;
he tries to do his homework quickly and spend more time outside with his friends;
he has a lot of friends with whom he likes to spend time;
he shows self-confidence and holds a good opinion of himself and his family.
All of the above features characterize emotionally stable child. If the child is emotionally stable, it does not mean that he should smile all day – he will rather have the courage to say if something upsets him.
In the life of the most carefree child, stressful situations can arise. For example, if a child gets a bad grade at school, the mother is likely to be concerned and negative: “If this continues, he will not achieve anything in life”, “How will I look into the eyes of the teacher?”, “It’s my fault because I let him watch the movie and pay less attention to the lessons” , etc.
A father, on the other hand, might say something like, ” Studying is your job. I’m disappointed in you.”
Knowing this, a child who has received a bad grade begins to think: “What will the parents say? How do I tell them the news?»
This situation sets a precedent. For parents, this conversation concerns only the situation, which they will try to avoid in the future, but for the child with this begins distrust of parents.
You must remember that every adult can fail, let alone a child. Failure (no matter in what area) reduces the self-esteem of the child. Therefore, the child expects from you support and motivation, not criticism.
In this case, as in many others, the emotional state of the child depends largely on your support. As in school years at the child personal qualities are formed, it needs your positive feedback. If you want your child to maximize his potential, show him that you believe in him.
To help your child gain emotional stability, you should understand the following key points about emotions:
1. Children can experience a whole range of emotions. Teaching a child to cope with their emotions is an important task for parents. Feeling negative emotions is normal. But parents can be upset if they see that the child is experiencing anger, sadness or frustration. Parents believe that if they will protect the child from negative emotions, it will help him to become happy. And while this is a noble goal, it will not necessarily benefit the child.
We know that negative emotions and difficult situations are inevitable in life. If people experienced positive emotions, they would not have developed in the course of life.
2. Emotions help a child learn. Different situations and emotions give us life experiences. By comparison, if the weather was consistently Sunny, we wouldn’t appreciate it. Seeing the same weather every day, we would take it for granted. In addition, we could not appreciate the beauty of other weather (thunderstorms, snowfall, etc.). The same and different emotions serve us in different ways. The secret is to learn to accept your different emotions without getting stuck in feelings of guilt, fear, resentment or judgment.
3. You can learn to deal with painful emotions. By engaging in negative emotions (such as anger or fear), we become hostage to them. Sometimes we can’t deal with them or learn a life lesson from them. If you keep your emotions to yourself for a long time, it can even lead to illness. But, living them, we learn and develop.
Children usually find it easy to Express their emotions. Their emotions change very quickly: within a short period of time, children can cry, laugh, get angry, upset, etc.this is because they allow themselves to fully feel the emotions as they arise. Instead of analyzing them, they immediately Express them. And that’s good!
4. It is important to react correctly to the child’s emotions. Seeing how their child is experiencing strong emotions, parents can incorrectly react to it. This can provoke negative emotional reactions in them. If you try to control or limit the emotions of the child, you can only make the situation worse. The intervention of parents confuses the child.
If you do not intervene and look at the situation from the outside, you can see what is really happening. Children have the same emotions as adults, and they have the same right to Express their feelings as we do. When we tell a child to stop behaving in one way or another, we suppress his emotions. We react only to the behavior of the child, not trying to understand the causes of his emotions. This reaction from adults can cause children to feel frustrated and misunderstood.
Before you react, ask your child what happened and why he is upset. Give him a chance to speak out. So we can better understand his behavior and help the child cope with his emotions. In addition, the child will understand that it is normal to Express emotions, that he will not be judged for it and will not try to change his behavior.
Emotionally stable children can find the best way out of difficult situations. When you give your child emotional support, it will help him to develop a positive attitude to any difficulties that arise in the process of development and growth.