What to do if the child is afraid of separation from you
When parents bring their children to school or kindergarten in the morning, they often experience anxiety. Psychologists call this fear of separation from parents separation anxiety. Especially often it is manifested in children of preschool age. If you help your child overcome separation anxiety, it will create a healthy emotional Foundation that will benefit him greatly in the future. In school and adolescence, he will be self-confident and independent.
But how to help the child cope with separation anxiety? This will help you to play on the imagination. This will help the child to play their conflicts and situations that cause him fear, in a safe environment. Children cope better with emotional problems through games.
Let’s look at some examples.
Every time my mother brought four-year-old Masha to kindergarten, the girl grabbed her legs and begged her not to leave. The tears and look of despair on her daughter’s face made her mother feel helpless when she left for work.
Masha’s parents thought that the game will help her cope with the problem. At home, all together played a scene of coming to kindergarten. For this Masha used dolls, soft toys and cubes. The girl was able to see the situation from the outside and find a way to make the separation from her parents during the day more comfortable.
Five-year-old Danya moved to a new kindergarten after his family moved. He was glad to have new friends, but at the same time he felt fear and anxiety. His parents were also worried about how his first days in the new kindergarten would go – he used to find moving difficult.
The parents explained to Dana what to expect on the first day of the new kindergarten. They offered to answer all of Dani’s questions, but He was silent. So the parents decided to bring elements of the game into the conversation to make it easier for the boy to talk about it. They knew that Danya liked imaginary games, and thought that the game would help to deal with his fears.
Danya and dad played a scene, using soft toys. Danya played with a Teddy bear, and dad played with a hare. “I’ll go to the new kindergarten tomorrow ,” said the hare. – And I feel-mmm, what do I feel?””no.” – “Fear,” replied the bear. “Yes! I’m scared because I don’t know what to expect. Don’t you know, hare?”no.” The hare suggested, ” I don’t know, but you can ask your parents.” “That’s a great idea,” Mishka said.
In this way, the game went on. The hare helped his friend Mishka Express his anxiety about the new kindergarten, and Mishka started asking questions that Danya wanted to ask his parents. Since Danya could ask questions and Express his feelings in a playful way, He was mentally ready to go to a new kindergarten and felt more comfortable.
Consider a few ways in which parents can help children more comfortable with separation.
1. Learn how children are treated in kindergarten. What does the caregiver do when the child gets upset and cries after the parents leave? After learning about these nuances, parents can better support their child.
2. Prepare the child. Having talked with him in advance about what awaits him in kindergarten, you will feel comfortable. Together with your child, read stories about the kindergarten, so that he could imagine what awaits him. During the walk, go with him to the Playground near the kindergarten. So he will quickly get used to the new atmosphere.
3. Find a friend for the child. Meet the children who will go with your child in the same group, and their parents. When at the beginning of the day the child will see a familiar face, he will be more comfortable during the day without parents.
4. Practice active listening. When a child wants to share something with you, give him all your attention. Tell him you’re interested in what’s going on in kindergarten. But don’t ask your child too many questions – let him tell you what he thinks is important.
5. Let the child take the initiative in the conversation in their own hands. It will be easier for the child to Express his thoughts and feelings if he feels that he can control the conversation. Tell the child to let you know when he is ready to talk or, conversely, to take a break in the conversation.
6. Play games with your child that develop their ability to be comfortable apart from their parents (for example, hide and seek). Games in which objects and people disappear and then come back help the child to understand that people are still nearby, even if the child does not see them.
Young children often get upset when their parents leave them alone. This is normal. However, if your child is experiencing severe anxiety or sadness, he cries or he shows sudden changes in behavior, you should contact a specialist. A pediatrician or child psychologist can help you.